Cures For Emotionally Unintelligent Men

In Asian culture, an emotional man is considered weak or feminine.  Anger may be acceptable if he is defending his pride and/or asserting his authority or power but he should not be overly enthusiastic, sad, or even loving.  To some degree, this notion of masculinity permeates almost all cultures, including America's.  This is problematic but there are ways we can fix this.  If you are a man (especially if you are introverted and conservative), you will likely benefit from the following recommendations.

First, take good acting and improv classes.  This is probably the fastest way to force yourself to improve your emotional intelligence by working with others as a team.  As a stage performer, you really have to be able to be in tune with the emotions of yourself, your scene partners, and your audience.  Good beginning courses will be hard and you may have to work on improving your listening and emotional connecting skills for years to become very good.  One amazing exercise is staring at your partner's eyes for several minutes straight and emotionally syncing and reacting.  I have seen people cry from doing this and my jaw dropped the first time I saw it.

Second, get to know strangers well.  Go out and meet new people and get to know them on a personal level fairly quickly.  This may take some of you some time to get good at.  Try to find out an interesting personal fact about the new person and think about what type of person she is, why that fact is important to her, and how she feels about it.

Third, volunteer or attend events about causes you believe in.  This will help you get in touch with your passions and values while meeting like-minded individuals.  Bonding over shared beliefs can lead to strong emotional connections that can lead to friendships.

Fourth, meet emotionally intelligent geniuses.  Every once in a while, I meet individuals who are exceptionally emotionally intelligent.  They probably were born with a great deal of natural talent but the really good ones will always try to improve their skills.  Learn from them since they have mastered something you are trying to improve at.  If they are really good, they can help articulate your own emotions in a social interaction better than you can; it is amazing.

Finally, openly care for someone as best as you can.  One of the most difficult things I have ever done was trying to make a romantic relationship work with someone very different from myself.  The relationship ended but I learned so much about the importance of listening, forgiveness, selflessness, giving, caring, understanding, empathy, vulnerability, acceptance and overall emotional awareness and control.  This can be very painful but will change your life for the better as long as you have a positive attitude.