Cures For Emotionally Unintelligent Men

In Asian culture, an emotional man is considered weak or feminine.  Anger may be acceptable if he is defending his pride and/or asserting his authority or power but he should not be overly enthusiastic, sad, or even loving.  To some degree, this notion of masculinity permeates almost all cultures, including America's.  This is problematic but there are ways we can fix this.  If you are a man (especially if you are introverted and conservative), you will likely benefit from the following recommendations.

First, take good acting and improv classes.  This is probably the fastest way to force yourself to improve your emotional intelligence by working with others as a team.  As a stage performer, you really have to be able to be in tune with the emotions of yourself, your scene partners, and your audience.  Good beginning courses will be hard and you may have to work on improving your listening and emotional connecting skills for years to become very good.  One amazing exercise is staring at your partner's eyes for several minutes straight and emotionally syncing and reacting.  I have seen people cry from doing this and my jaw dropped the first time I saw it.

Second, get to know strangers well.  Go out and meet new people and get to know them on a personal level fairly quickly.  This may take some of you some time to get good at.  Try to find out an interesting personal fact about the new person and think about what type of person she is, why that fact is important to her, and how she feels about it.

Third, volunteer or attend events about causes you believe in.  This will help you get in touch with your passions and values while meeting like-minded individuals.  Bonding over shared beliefs can lead to strong emotional connections that can lead to friendships.

Fourth, meet emotionally intelligent geniuses.  Every once in a while, I meet individuals who are exceptionally emotionally intelligent.  They probably were born with a great deal of natural talent but the really good ones will always try to improve their skills.  Learn from them since they have mastered something you are trying to improve at.  If they are really good, they can help articulate your own emotions in a social interaction better than you can; it is amazing.

Finally, openly care for someone as best as you can.  One of the most difficult things I have ever done was trying to make a romantic relationship work with someone very different from myself.  The relationship ended but I learned so much about the importance of listening, forgiveness, selflessness, giving, caring, understanding, empathy, vulnerability, acceptance and overall emotional awareness and control.  This can be very painful but will change your life for the better as long as you have a positive attitude.

10 Fast Workouts For Busy People

There are times when life gets busy and skipping workouts can become more frequent.  Never fear.  Here are some routines I use when I am very short on time and still want to give my body a full workout.

1. Olympic weightlifting- Go to the gym and focus on improving your snatch on one day and then your clean & jerk on another.  Your workout can definitely be less than 30 minutes.

2. Farmer's walk- Hold a heavy weight in each hand (or use an apparatus like a trap bar) and walk.  This will work your entire body and is one of the best total body movements for athleticism and a lean physique.  A good session can be less than 15 minutes.

3. Twenty-rep squats- This is an even shorter workout but it is psychologically very demanding.  Do some warmup sets on the back squat and put on a weight that would normally challenge you if did ten reps without pausing in between reps.  Now, try to do twenty reps with that weight by breathing when you stand in between each rep.  Take as long as you need but keep the weight on your back and really push yourself.  This should take less than 20 minutes even with a warmup.

4. Rest-pause- This is a technique where you perform as many repetitions on an exercise with a challenging weight until your form breaks down (aka technical failure), rest for 12-15 deep breaths, perform additional reps until technical failure with the same weight, rest for 12-15 deep breaths, and do a third set until technical failure.  Do this with a pressing exercise (e.g. dips) followed by a pulling exercise (e.g. chinups).  This can take less than 10 minutes for a good upper body workout.

5. High Intensity Training- I used this for at least a year and this is the method of choice for some bodybuilders like Dorian Yates, Sergio Oliva, and Mike Mentzer.  Select two body parts and do two exercises for each for the day and do only one working set per exercise.  This set will be done very slowly during both the concentric and eccentric portions with a slight pause in the fully contracted portion of the exercise.  Let the eccentric and concentric portions take four seconds each.  The set is done when you cannot lift the weight anymore (aka muscular failure).  If done correctly, the single working set of the exercise is very difficult since you have to put as much effort as you can into that one set.  A workout can be less than 15 minutes.

6. Bodyweight Tabata- Do speed squats for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, do burpees for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, do mountain climbers for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, do speed skips for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, and repeat the cycle once more.  Make sure to make each 20 second interval fast and intense.  This is not a great muscle-building routine but it will keep you somewhat in shape in such a small amount of time.  This will take 8 minutes total.

7. Prowler push/Sled drag- I have not done these since my football days and it can be hard to find a facility that provides either of these but they provide some of the best workouts you can imagine.  You can be pretty wiped out after 10 minutes.

8. Hill sprints- Find a hill.  Then, sprint up and walk down it.  Keep doing this until your lungs and legs feel like they are on fire but not until you vomit.  This can also be less than 12 minutes.

9. Kettlebell swings- Take a fairly heavy kettlebell and do swings, snatches, cleans, and/or presses with it for 10 minutes.

10. Turkish get up- Grab a dumbbell, kettlebell, or even a barbell.  Lie down with the weight in the air held by one hand.  Now get up onto your feet with the weight still held high above you the whole time and then go back to lying down afterwards to repeat with the other hand.  Do this for 10 minutes with a difficult weight.

There are so many other things you can do that I have not tried as extensively: Escalated Density Training (EDT), HIIT, circuits, barbell complexes, tire flips, keg toss.  Most people do not need to spend hours every day to be in good shape.  Strong people make things work, even when time is limited.