The People Who Care About You In The Real World: Your Family

Life in the real world is very sobering to the recent college graduate.  People do not randomly sit next to you while you're eating simply to potentially make another platonic friend.  You spend considerably more time on making money and keeping track of your personal finances to make sure you can afford to live without discomfort.  You lose touch with your friends from college unless you make somewhat of a dedicated effort.  People only socialize with you if you can be useful to them in some way.  If you are single, feeling lonely can also come quite easily.  (However, being single is much better than being in a destructive relationship.)

All of this paints a very bleak picture of life that seems distant from the rosier ones from our younger years when we simply spent time with others because we enjoyed their company.  Who are the people who actually care about us and love us for who we are?

For the overwhelming majority of us, those people are our parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members.  Only after graduating from college did I truly form a far deeper appreciation for my family and how important family is.  When all else fails, your family can back you up and support you through hard times when no one else will.  That's not to say that you shouldn't be self-reliant but you know you have a strong safety net.  (I understand that some people do not have this, through no fault of their own.  In these cases, I see the value in belief in an all-loving god and establishing charitable organizations, religious or secular.)

My theory is that the people who love you the most are your parents and the people you love the most are (or will be) your children.  You should not lose sight of this but you should not be too distracted so that you ignore people who are not related to you.  Looking back, forming deep friendships was easier as a student and I did not do a fantastic job of maintaining those relationships with the best of my abilities.  I would advise college students to really appreciate the people in their lives and try to maintain those relationships after graduation as well.

Placing a high priority for your family life changes your attitude in dating as well.  If you want to get married and have children and that is ultimately what is important in the grand scheme of things, then you should probably approach relationships with some degree of seriousness.  I'm assuming you'd want an intelligent, kind, patient, and understanding partner.  If that's the case, should you really be at a bar or nightclub getting wasted to lower your standards for a quick lay?  Again, you'd have to decide that for yourself since you are the only one who can determine what you do.

Liberal, Conservative, or Neither?

Here are my current political beliefs as defined by this website.  I tried to pick a side for each issue but put question marks where I disagree with both sides or lack data to make a decently informed opinion on the issue.  People get too sucked into one ideology when they identify with one label.  I will probably never register myself as a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green, Socialist, or any other political party so that I can form my own beliefs for different topics.  In other words, I'll always be one of the least popular people in America.


Abortion: Liberal
Affirmative Action: ?
Death Penalty: ?
Economy: Conservative
Education: Conservative
Embryonic Stem Cell Research: Liberal
Energy: ?
Euthanasia & Physician Assisted Suicide: Liberal
Global Warming/Climate Change: Liberal
Gun Control: ?
Healthcare: ?
Homeland Security: ?
Immigration: Liberal
Private Property: Conservative
Religion & Government: Liberal
Same-sex Marriage: Liberal
Social Security: Conservative
Taxes: Conservative
United Nations: ?
War on Terror/Terrorism: Liberal
Welfare: ?

Liberal- 8
Conservative- 5
?- 8


(What results do you get?)

Although I am not a true libertarian, I do agree with some libertarian policies.  Like many Americans, I am skeptical of the efficacy of a bigger federal government and I believe that we should have a more laissez-faire economy.  Liberals often have good intentions for the policies they promote but effectiveness should be emphasized in determining social and economic policies.  I will admit that I admire many individuals who identify as liberal (e.g. Paul Krugman, Jon Stewart, Bill Clinton).

What is desperately missing among conservatives is a leader.  Personally, the only "conservative" I ever really had any very deep respect for was the Nobel laureate in economics, Milton Friedman.  Conservative groups also struggle with deep-seated racism, sexism, and religious fundamentalism amongst their members, particularly in the deep South and (for some reason) the Midwest.  I think that becoming a post-racial society (if possible) will be a giant stepping stone in the development of our country.

Also, I'd like to add that some of the issues that divide liberals and conservatives should not be issues.  We argue over evolution, global warming, embryonic stem cell research, gay marriage, immigration, and marijuana legalization.  If one adopts rational, scientific views, the answers to these issues are very obvious.  We can then move on to focus on real issues like nuclear proliferation, terrorism, taxation, welfare, education, energy, and healthcare.  My hope is that we can settle the more obvious issues soon to invest more thought into real political issues.

Who Is More Shallow: The Gold Digging Trophy Wife Or Her Husband?

Here is a video I posted on Facebook recently where a man first gets rejected by a woman, but she asks him out on a date after he shows her his Lamborghini.  Here is another one where a man asks a woman if she would like to get a ride in his mediocre car and gets rejected, and 15 minutes later a man asks the same woman if she would like to get a ride in his fancy car and gets accepted.  Vitaly is out of his mind but some of his videos are pretty funny.

We all look down on women who are only attracted to rich men and men who are only attracted to female models for
being shallow.  Shouldn't they consider other important factors such as kindness, intelligence, diligence, confidence, patience, and being a good partner?

Well, yes and no.  There are people who do not care about forming deep, long-term relationships.  If that is the case, then money and looks probably end up with more weight in determining who to hook up with next.  That is their choice.  Are those who disagree in a better position to determine what makes others happy in life?  More importantly, are they in a position to force the others to behave differently?  The answer to the first question is "I don't know" and the answer to the second is a definite "No."

But let's say that the gold digging trophy wife and her husband both want a stable marriage so that they can build a family together.  For the sake of argument, the wife was most attracted to her husband's wealth and the husband was most attracted to his wife's beautiful face and model-esque body.  Who is more shallow?

According to Merriam-Webster, "shallow" is defined as:
1. having little depth
2. having little extension inward or backward
3. a: penetrating only the easily or quickly perceived
    b: lacking in depth of knowledge, thought, or feeling

By definition, the husband is more shallow.  Beauty is only skin-deep and often deteriorates with time; wealth is substantial and often accumulates with time. Most Americans with a net worth over $1 million are self-made and did so with an incredible amount of discipline, sacrifice, and diligence.  I'm not saying that fashion models do not work hard, but they were blessed with great genetics which they didn't really merit and enable them to find work in their chosen industry.  However, for most of the females, their modeling careers are over after 30 years of age.  Most rich men tend to accumulate their wealth as they age.  So they entered into an agreement where what the wife values in her husband will increase while what the husband values in his wife will decrease.  Who is getting the better deal in this bargain?


Before you think that the husband doesn't have it all that bad because he can divorce her when she gets old and find a new young woman, think again.  First of all, divorce isn't painless, especially if you have children.  Second of all, she gets half of your assets and child custody and support.  When Johnny Carson's ex-wife divorced him, she received "half his shit" (as Eddie Murphy put it) which must have been close to $150 million.  (She probably knew he had around $300 million before she married him too.)  So it's not that simple and easy.

The interesting thing is that most wealthy, successful men do not marry gold diggers (e.g. Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Steve Jobs, Koch brothers, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Jerry Yang).  Most of them also never get divorced.  That doesn't mean their marriages are perfect, but they probably have a different attitude about relationships that might be valuable.

However, I will say that the one way that gold diggers can be at least just as shallow is if she gets fooled into thinking that just because he has a nice car, clothes, and pad that he must be wealthy.  He could very well be in severe debt and making poor financial decisions that will ruin him in the future.  If she divorces him, she will still be responsible for paying off HIS debt and taking care of the kids.

When it comes to relationships, you need to take responsibility for your actions and their consequences.  If you think his lavish expenditures signal that he is rich and successful, then you're taking the risks that may be associated with his behavior.  If you think she is the most beautiful woman you've ever met and you'll always be physically attracted to her, then by all means do what you want to do but keep in mind that it may not last and you might find out that it was cosmetic surgery all along when it's too late.

Five Things I Like About Mormons

Mormons get a bad rep from both liberals and conservatives.  This bothers me because we live in a country that was founded on religious freedom as one of its core principles.  What is also annoying is when an entire group of people receive negativity for what only a small handful of its members say or do.  These groups can be the Muslims, the Jews, the Amish, et cetera.  I'm not entirely sure why we often focus so much on the negative aspects of others.  Perhaps if we find something positive from people different from us, it would force us to rethink our values and realize that we're not perfect and other people might be better than us in other ways.

Anyways, this is a pretty random post but I thought it'd be somewhat amusing so here goes:

1. They have an incredible sense of family values.  Although I disagree with their views on gay marriage, I like the fact that they take their families very seriously.  The divorce rate among Latter-Day Saints is below 20% and well below the national average of 50%.  Given your knowledge of relationships, you decide for yourself whether you think that is overall a good thing or not.

2. Their abstaining from alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, and all recreation drugs is something I appreciate.  This behavior requires a certain amount of willpower too many people lack in this world.  Most people would probably be healthier if they followed this too.

3. Their overall discipline is very noteworthy.  I am not opposed to premarital sex, but I admit that the restraint required to follow through with must be very substantial (at least for most people).  I do see the potential value in saving yourself for marriage, but I am most impressed by their devotion to delaying immediate gratification for something they believe to be greater later on.  That's something we can all learn from, whether it is being healthier or financing your retirement.

4. They are well-educated.  32% of Mormons have at least some college education compared to 23% of the general US population.  Call me biased but I have very high respect for people value their education and continue learning more about the world.  Better educated people are also more productive.

5. They're just really nice people.  I don't know what it is about being raised Mormon but the Mormons I've met were all very polite and kind.  The Book of Mormon musical caricatured this by making the protagonists nice in a pure, naive way.

You don't have to like every aspect of anything you encounter in life.  Be careful not to completely evacuate the mine because you didn't find any gold.  There might be diamonds!